Where Are We Going?

While waiting to see Nick Offerman today, I noticed something I found really weird. One row in front of me there was a guy and a girl sitting next to each other but not talking to each other; the guy was on his phone and the girl was pretty much staring into space. I figured they didn't know each other but then a few minutes later they started engaging in what I have termed 'excessive PDA'. There I was thinking they didn't even know each other at all.

A few impatient minutes of waiting later, I noticed another guy sitting next to a girl and they also weren't really talking to each other. This time both of them were on their phones doing who knows what. I again deduced they didn't know each other because of the lack of acknowledging each others' existence. Yet again I was wrong; apparently they are a couple too.

I don't know if I can overgeneralize from this small observational study of mine but the implications for the direction 'couplehood' appears to be moving seems sad to me. If two people who are together can sit next to each other and practically ignore their significant other in place of doing something on their phone then what does that say? Seems to me people would rather be with their phones than with someone they care about. If that's where we're headed it's not like I can change it but I do want to comment on it because it bothers me more than it should.

Defensive Pessimism

Today when I was studying for my Personality Psychology exam I came upon a curious term: "defensive pessimism". When I read the definition I was really intrigued.

"Defensive pessimism is a strategy used by anxious people to help them manage their anxiety so they can work productively. Defensive pessimists lower their expectations to help prepare themselves for the worst. Then, they mentally play through all the bad things that might happen. Though it sounds as if it might be depressing, defensive pessimism actually helps anxious people focus away from their emotions so that they can plan and act effectively"

This sounds exactly like what I do all the time. It's nice to actually find a way to define it really. Even Oprah knows about defensive pessimism! Anyways I don't really have much to say about this just that it's interesting. Thanks to Andrew J. Elliot, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, who says "Research shows that if you pressure defensive pessimists into being optimistic, or try to manipulate their mood, their performance deteriorates". That at least could partially deter people from telling me I need to be optimistic.