Sometimes we can have the mental capacity of children. We want to believe in the goodness of people and we trust them to tell us something if we need to know it. Children can't handle the truth of the world, even about little things because they can't be exposed to the darkness and corruption of the world when they are at such a young age that they can't understand why it is that they can't eat pizza every night for dinner. We have to let them believe in things that don't exist and it breaks their heart once they learn it was all a lie. So why do we tell children lies and keep feeding them false stories? It's because we just can't tell them the truth. We try to let them keep their innocence as long as we can because it's this innocence that is the hardest thing to see destroyed. And it's not something that we want to destroy ourselves.
I find myself feeling like this a lot lately. I know some people who I just can't tell them what they're missing because I know they can't take it. When someone like this misinterprets something or doesn't understand it, I can't bring myself to shatter their newly created reality. I get upset when I know I should say something but I just can't because I feel that the person should just be allowed to live in their world. But people shouldn't be able to live in their own worlds although that kind of is reality. Reality is different for everyone. Letting people believe in this false truth does make me feel bad, but inside I hope that they don't find out the truth. Because if they do find it and they know I didn't tell them, it's my fault. Not only this, but if they find the truth they're upset for not finding it before and then their truth is crushed which is devastating to anyone.
The worst thing is when you try so hard to cover up the truth that you spin a web of lies. Sometimes I try too hard to not let people figure out something because I feel that it will hurt them more to find out than to keep on believing. If something really does need to be said, it still takes me a while to be able to say it and even when I do, I try to say it the nicest way possible to those people that need it to be sweetened up. I'm just not good at being straightforward, but especially not with those people that seem to still have some resemblance of the childlike innocence we all sometimes wish we still had. But at the same time having this innocence seems more like a curse to me.
"I couldn't lie anymore sir. Because everyone knows the weight of a lie makes your soul so heavy that you can't rise up to heaven... And you don't look good in jeans from behind." -Kenneth in 30 Rock
I'm always so afraid that I'm missing something big or my perception of reality isn't right. Whenever I'm arguing with someone, even when I'm completely sure that I'm right, I always think about the possibility that I'm the one who is missing something. I think about that all the time, but at least I recognize it and I'm aware that I could be wrong.
ReplyDeleteI learned that telling someone the truth often doesn't help because you can't reason with people who just don't understand. I figure it's a problem if it's making them unhappy (or if they're hurting someone). I know a lot of people who live in twisted versions of reality, and they're all very unhappy. I always just hope they'll realize one day, because telling the truth does nothing but upset them and cause an argument, and they always think they're right.