Dear N00b Brother

This post is to you, younger but not so little brother. You who enjoys making fun of someone named 'Ken' at red lights with me. You who call everything I do 'illegal'. And you who makes me so frustrated that I would like to throw a pie at you but don't because you would like it. Our bonding experiences have included: lightsaber duels, dance-offs, and the game of "who can get to the car first to ride shotgun". Maybe you don't wish me a happy birthday until the day after, but it's fun because now I can reciprocate that. Which reminds me of a few years ago when you had a birthday party and your friends were all 20 minutes late and I, being the evil older sister, went outside around the house, rang the doorbell, and ran away from the door. You went to the door excited to see a friend but was disappointed to see that it was in fact nobody (unless your friend was wearing an invisibility cloak at the time). Even though you never let me play video games with you anymore (probably because I win too much), I know you want to preserve your dignity so I let it slide. But then, I tell everyone how bad you are anyways. Proclamations of “You’re so cheap” do not help with your reputation and you should learn this. And in our recent trip back to childhood via Neopets, I have already beat you so many times in Beach Volleyball that I would need another chalkboard to continue the tally marks. At every chance you can you mock me, but it's okay because according to Rachel from Big Brother, "The highest form of flattery is being mocked". Or something like that I don't remember the quote. And now I end this post. I have rightfully called you a n00b and you deserve this highest title as my brother.