I'm one of those people that often criticize myself for things I do. Sure this does sometimes lead to a slightly depressing state of mind, because knowing that you have flaws doesn’t make you feel in any way better. In my opinion, this actually helps improve character because if you at least acknowledge the flaws you have (and everyone, despite what they may say) has them, you can try to adjust for it. Some people don't like to criticize themselves and think about what they've done wrong because this makes them sad or hate themselves. To me, it’s essential to learn to hate yourself for the certain parts of you that need to be fixed or can be bettered and before you can go and criticize someone else for something, it’s imperative to criticize yourself. I agree that it's not necessarily important to everyone that they spend time to reflect on the past and criticize yourself, because what's past is past, but if we don't learn from our mistakes, then we keep making them. The only way we can learn from this is if we first acknowledge that we have that flaw and learn to compensate for it.
I also tend to think very pessimistically about things when I take time to think about certain situations. This way, I can always be prepared for what, to me, is the worst outcome that could happen, although I do know that this mentality is also bad. When I go into a test thinking that I won’t do well or try to do homework that I think I can’t do, it makes it more difficult than it really is. The mentality you have towards things really affects how you perform which is a downside to thinking the worst. But when you think the best and when it doesn’t happen, you’re disappointed. And one of my least favorite things is disappointment. We’ve all been faced with it and when it happens it just crushes us; especially if it was important or if you were really looking forward to it. This is the worst for me regarding my opinions on people. No matter how much I say I hate when people pre-judge, I do it myself and typically think the worst of them when I know I shouldn't. Thinking of how that person annoys me or affects me in some way. I know people have the tendency to be selfish, and I know even I am no matter how hard I try not to, I do it too. There are some flaws that are just human nature and that can't be fixed no matter how hard you try to change it, and thinking about these definitely isn't something that makes you want to get up and dance in joy.
I think it's a good thing to be critical of yourself and want to improve because it's really annoying when people have that mentality of "It's just the way I am, so people should accept that." I know so many people who think that instead of aiming for self-improvement, they’re like "if these people don't like me, I'll find people who do." They don't think that maybe there's a real reason people don't like them and it’s something they should try to change. So it's good to recognize that you're not perfect and try to be better.
ReplyDeleteIt's not good to do what you did in your last post and mention like 80 times "you probably don't care to read this" or "you probably don't like to hear me ramble" because that's more a lack of self-confidence than healthy self-criticism. I think that the people that come off as really pretty, smart, popular, and interesting are really just confident in what they say and who they are.
I get the thing about planning for the worst because it's like, either your expectations are met or you're pleasantly surprised, and either way, it's a win-win. I can't argue with that, but it’s still sad.
I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to prejudgment. It’s sort of an innocent until proven guilty kind of thing where I think they’re a good person until they prove otherwise.
Also, I don't trust people either. I always keep in the back of my mind little warnings about people and try not to trust people too soon. I'm deeply afraid of emotional commitment and being blackmailed, so I’m afraid to get too close to people (part of why I really don’t want a boyfriend) and I will volunteer any personal information if someone asks. If I tell everyone everything, it takes the power away from all these people I don't trust. They can't hold secrets against me if I have no secrets. Dunno if that’s the best way to do things, but I’ve saved face from it a few times.
Sorry for the long comment XD
The people that don't recognize that they need to fix some part of their character and think they'll find someone who accepts them with all their flaws would be lucky to find someone like that. If you never self-criticize, you go on thinking like there's nothing wrong with you and that people that don't like you are wrong because nothing could possibly be wrong with you. About your 'lack of self-confidence' I just say that confidence is not my forte.
ReplyDeleteTrusting people is really hard for me and I don't like telling people what's going on in my head unless I really need to talk about it. And even then it's hard. I don't deal with emotions very well so I feel like if I start telling someone about something that bothers me I'll just break down which is not something I want to do.
Funny; I was just eating dinner and my dad said I have trust issues
ReplyDeleteI have really low self-esteem, but I try to fake confidence sometimes, and whenever I do, those are the times when people actually want to talk to me. It's kinda like you can
ReplyDeleteI dunno if it's good to keep it all in your encrypted soul either .-. You can talk to me if you want to unencrypt it. I don't handle emotions well either.
I try to fake myself out and tell myself I'm confident XD
ReplyDeleteMy encrypted soul has various levels. Like an onion; but not. I'm so weird. I always wish I had someone I could tell everything to, but then whenever someone asks me what's wrong I don't want to tell xP